Time Flies

Nine days since my last update. Nine days! Where has the time gone? I think a lot of it has to do with how all my days are exactly alike now. Monday is the same as Thursday is the same as Saturday. Which is how I forgot the nurse from the health department was coming out today.

When P & E made their appearance nearly two months early and weighed in at less than 3 and 4 lbs. each, they automatically qualified for certain screening and assistance programs through the county health department. I could've opted out of these, but I figured that would be stupid. Who am I to pass up on anything free? So the nurse came out to see them shortly after P got home from the hospital, when they were just over two months old, and then she called me two weeks ago to set up their four month evaluation. Well, I can't remember to brush my teeth in the morning, let alone a random appointment with a nurse I barely know and haven't seen in two months. So imagine my surprise when the doorbell rang at 2:00 this afternoon as I washed bottles in my pajamas.

There is no way to convey the destruction that was my living room at this point. There were four half empty glasses on the coffee table. One plate of Pop Tart crumbs. Two Boppy pillows in the middle of the floor, and two bouncers sitting side by side facing the ceiling fan in the next room. Five sections of newspaper strewn to hell and back because the dogs had been wrestling on them. A dirty diaper that hadn't made its way to the trash can yet. Not to mention the various rattles, bibs, books, and assorted fun stuff the babies can't make it through the day without. There were maybe four points in the entire room where you could actually see the carpet. The couch? Forget about it.

I apologized profusely. She said it was fine, that she wasn't there to look at my house, but she didn't waste any time in starting to discuss babyproofing the place.

Then it was time for her to evaluate the babies themselves. Keep in mind, these are babies who babble, who scoot, who bat at the toys over their playmat, who watch with interest anything or anyone who moves. Not today though. Alas, today they were content to lie still and stare straight ahead, ignoring the rattle, the bell, my voice, her voice, the dogs barking, everything. And did I mention the lying still? These are the kids (well, one kid anyway) who scooted off the couch more than a month ago. Almost two months ago, in fact. Today? Scooting? Nah. Today I guess they were playing, "Let's see who can do the best mummy impersonation!" And on and on it went.

Finally, as I was losing all hope, we had an idea. The nurse headed off into another room, leaving me alone with P & E. She was peeking around the corner, but they couldn't see her. Wouldn't you know it? They both came back to life and acted like their usual, happy, rowdy selves. I was so relieved. She said, from what she could see, they appeared to be right on target. Right on target for 3 month olds, that is -- they're not at the same place most nearly 5 month olds would be -- but right on target nonetheless. They're also getting very, very big. 11 lbs. 3 oz. and 11 lbs. 11 oz. That is a 200% size increase for P since birth and a more than 300% increase for E.

I'll admit it. By the time she left, I was very, very proud.

My, How Things Have Changed

It's been a long weekend. An old friend from law school came to visit from out of state, one who hadn't met P & E yet. She's single and doesn't have any kids, so she's spending this time focusing on 1) her career; and 2) having fun. It was great to see her, but I have to admit, her visit totally stressed me out.

She just didn't understand how much my life has changed since the babies arrived. She still wanted to drink, go out, go shopping, stay up late, go out to eat -- you name it! That's all well and good; those are all things I love to do. Unfortunately, none of them are so easy for me anymore. Whether I have company or not, the babies still need to eat every three hours, still need to nap several times a day, still need to be played with and loved rather than left to swing for hours on end, still will (loudly) voice their displeasure if left in their stroller for too long while I window shop.

And then there were all the things that need to be done around the house. In my normal day, whenever the babies fall asleep at the same time or are otherwise engaged simultaneously, I seize the opportunity to pump, wash bottles, do laundry, pick up toys, etc. I couldn't do that ALL weekend. (Well, I did pump, obviously, but none of the rest of it). In the brief moments when the babies didn't need my attention, she wanted me to be doing something leisurely. (See above list). She didn't get that there is no time for leisure right now. Ugh.

I know it's not her fault. We used to have so much in common, and I guess I'm no better than her as far as failing to realize how different our visions of the weekend would be. She was crazy about P & E, sure, but she didn't want to spend every one of their waking moments with them the way I -- without even realizing it! -- have begun to. I realized I've turned into the beyond-annoying woman I always bitched about in my old blog. You know her: the one who is incapable of doing or talking about anything that doesn't involve her kids. I feel, in some way, as though I've gone over to the dark side.

I'm guessing that as P & E get older and don't need me quite as much that more of the old me will come back, and I'll become interesting again. The question is, will any of my old friends wait around that long?

A Couple Things

First, as if I don't have enough problems getting people to read and/or comment on this blog, I've now turned on the "word verification" option. That means, for the eight of you out there reading this, that if you want to comment, you'll first have to look at one of those fuzzy images of letters and type what you see. This should help me weed out the spam comments I've been swamped with the past couple posts. Not that I don't find comments regarding penis enlargement helpful or profound, but I don't want G getting a complex.

In other news, I got a darling new haircut today. Now, I'm a person whose always had issues with hair cutting, owing to a surgery I had when I was seven years old and had to get my head shaved. Since then, I feel almost physical pain with every inch I lose. Not today though. My hair had become a pain in my ass. Who has time for styling when there are four month old twins in the house? So, as of about four hours ago, I've been bobbed. I feel liberated!