Life After the Second Line

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Still here, still pregnant, as far as I can tell

It occurred to me that I probably ought not drop a bombshell like the one I came out with here a few weeks ago and then not update for three weeks at a time. Sorry!

Ok, first off, thanks to all of you who suggested maybe I could call my old RE (aka Oz) to get in for an earlier appointment than my first scheduled prenatal. It is a good idea, and were my circumstances a bit different than they are, I would have absolutely done that. However, 1) at my clinic, the RE dept. and the OB dept. share the scheduling desk. This means that, had I called again to request an appt. w/ the RE, the same woman who I'd already spoken with twice would've talked to me again. She already knew my situation and had spoken with my OB about it, so I am fairly certain she would've stonewalled me. Second, and more importantly, was this -- Oz's former partner recently left his practice, leaving all his patients in Oz's care. That means Oz has a LOT on his plate right now, and I just didn't want to add to it. I kept thinking about my own long, fucked up cycle, and how much attention I required back then. It would've really pissed me off if I'd known part of the reason he was so busy was because he was trying to pacify paranoid former patients who were already pregnant. Make sense?

So that leaves me where I am now -- probably around 9 weeks along, with no way to know for sure, and another 12 days until my first prenatal finally rolls around. I've been feeling really sick though, and exhausted too, so I'm hoping everything is ok. The whole thing is just so surreal to me still. I can't even fathom how this has happened. (Ok, ok, I guess I do know "how" it happened, but you know what I mean). But when you couple the fact that I haven't had any ultrasounds or heard/seen any heartbeat (hell, haven't even been to the doctor!) with the fact that we had medical reason to believe this could not happen -- you can see why it all seems like a dream, or like it's happening to somebody else. If not for that test . . . ok, ok, testS (4) . . .

Right now I guess I'm about equal parts excited, disbelieving and terrified. Good thing I've still got another seven months to adjust.

4 Comments:

  • Glad to hear you're doing good. Here's to a coming 12 days that fly by...and believe me, I think you'll still be having trouble believing it long after 7 months. I know all too well what it's like to not quite believe it, and to feel as though it's happening to someone else, even though it's really happening to you (yea!!).

    By Blogger Dee, at 6:58 PM  

  • Wow. Just read the previous post. Wow. We had exactly the same thing: even with IVF our RE predicted it would be nigh on impossible for us to conceive again, and, well, there's a hefty little boy in my living room, yammering for his bottle, proving my RE wrong...
    Good luck!

    By Anonymous Menita, at 3:49 PM  

  • How great! I have always loved your site and was so happy to drop in and hear your great news! I am excited to hear how your first appt went!

    By Blogger sarah, at 10:33 AM  

  • Good luck at today's appt--it's finally here! I hope all the news/info is good :-)

    By Blogger Dee, at 8:55 AM  

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